Friday, February 22, 2019

Raising a minority personality

am not sure whether above should be the right topic to discuss. and i was thinking whether or not i should raise this topic, but why not? sharing is caring, and plus, parenthood is not a close ended questions. 

Well, this topic is very closed to my heart. Living in a sibling of 7, I was not aware how it feels to be the only child in the family. I always think that as the only child, you are showered with more love and you get what you want. 

Oh well, most of the time, I admit yes!!

So now having one child, I become more sensitive to his surrounding. I pity him as not only he is the only child, he is also the first grandchild from my side (next grandchild is 4 years apart), and the youngest grandchild from my husband's side. and we live in a condo. what im trying to say here is, most of the time, he is all alone.. Or should i say, he is ok to be alone. 

One thing i took for granted when he was still a toddler was arranging for a playdate. I did but not often. One of the reason because, i got married quite (very) early and having a child at the age of 24. so I didnt have peers where i could arrange the playdate easily. Most of the time I will opt for bloggers friends. 

while that should be one of the factor of his personality development, i realised that he is more introverts as opposed to his parents - we are quite extroverts :D  tho we sent him to kindergarten when he was 1.5 years old.

Often we always received comments from the teachers that he is quiet but alhamdulillah during class session he will ask questions confidently. However, in terms of making friends, he has a big problem. First, he was not the person who will break the ice, second he doesnt mind to be all alone!! 

and this make me feel sad sometimes.. 

Since he doesnt really have good friends, he always the last choice to be in a group. Or sometimes, he was already in a group but suddenly someone asked him to leave the group. and he just said, ok fine.. I encountered this few times and seriously as a mother, it broke my heart.. 

ok, actually i have written in details what has happened to Emir during his primary school days, but I decided to delete it. Once uploaded, it will remains here in this blog forever. 

What im trying to say here is, parents have to play a big role if your child has a different personality from others. Emir is OK because he is a good friend of mine where he can share everything with me or sometimes with his father. Yes, since he is the only child, all attention goes to him so he is more comfortable to spend time with us. 

and one tips, please explore your child strength. Alhamduillah we found that Emir is good in chess and that is the reason despite all challenges that he faced he is OK. He has more chess friends rather than school friends and look forward to go to chess classes or tournaments rather than to go to school. Perhaps, chess friends mostly has similar personality like him..

I once asked him

"emir tak sedih ke orang buat macam ni dekat emir"
"its ok, i already good in chess, thats enough, we cant have all"

Dang!! aku pun terkene.. to that, Alhamdulillah

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