How do i see English

i feel like writing again. in one entry, im updating about my travel journal and on the other hand, im writing about my daily life, with all unstructured and bad grammar. It feels good to have some space that you can just be yourself (nasiblah orang nak kata apa). 

in real life, i speak more malays than english, working in this 88th building, meeting more malays, manglish is the medium language. so, i tend to speak more and more broken english, unlike when during my years in audit firm, where speaking with clients which are mostly expatriates, english is a must.

oh not to forget, i have to speak english with my son. anyway, putting aside this issue, he is now able to speak in malay. im happy with that. after all, he is a malaysian, and he needs to speak in bahasa.

by the way, unfortunately i found out that our community tend to condemn someone who speak broken english (belum lagi when it comes to grammar). I once attended a wedding where the bride gave a speech in bm, japanese and english. (yaaaa amazing kan, and semuanya isi yang sama :) - so when the bride spoke in english (untuk i ok je, lagipun budak tu keje kat US for years tu), but the person sitting next to me, she was continuously complaining about the grammar and the accent used. Gosh! padahal, when you are in foreign country, so long people can understand u, syukur alhamdulillah.

So, the question here is what you get when you are able to speak and write in English? I found out during my schooldays, we always look up for someone who can speak in english and those who can speak a better english, usually they were popular students.

I took a lot of initiatives to read, speak and write in english. Even tho both of my parents are english educated especially my mother who is very damn good in english, we rarely speak english at home. Mama told me, she always tried to talk to me in english when i was small, but i always replied to her in bahasa.

I realised that english is really important when i was 12 years old. At that time, I always adore people who can studied overseas, had the opportunity to wish Hari Raya in the newspaper with snow background. Honestly, i once cut and paste those articles in my diary, hoping that one day i could be one of them. :) yes, you are right, it didn't happen until today. but that's the time where i realized english is important and i need to improve myself - kalau tak macam mana nak pergi overseas. 

and what did i do? everyday i read Dictionary! I repeat Oxford dictionary. but the determination hanya untuk huruf A saje.. but yes, i did read and construct A words everyday.. lepas tu i malas.. so, i can be a mobile Oxford Dictionary for A words-- tapi A je lah :)

Later, i had an interest to read english story books and it all started with Sweet Valley. Alhamdulillah, my parents could afford to pay for my story books, which at that time, the most expensive only cost about RM11.90 (Sweet Valley University). I do believe, despite in today's world technology is taking over our lives, but books are the only place where you can improved ur language.

Sikit-sikit i belajar. I thanked Sekolah Melawati because this is the first place that exposed me on English education. Alhamdulillah i managed to get into the first class and mix around with non Malays who speak very well English. Masa tu, i do feel rendah diri, yelah, tak berapa pandai cakap.. but i learnt a lot from them.

and now, i might say, im not good in English, not at all, my nieces and nephews lagi terror tulis and cakap english. seriousss terror. but what i can say, having to know read, speak and write in english does help you in corporate world.

im still learning to speak and write a proper english, im now enrolling myself for english classes at british council (company bayar :p). My job requires me to write a proper english (bukan cakap omputih) since i am doing tax advisory.

husband told me "english awak dengan kite, kite terror lagi" memang pun. husband i kalau tulis memang terror (memang bahasa highclass punyalah), tapi kalau cakap omputih i lagi terror, so what i can say, we compliment each other :p cuma sekarang ni dia tak de passport.. so tak delah heran pasal speak in english kan, bukan nak pergi mana pun lol...

apa pun, this is my tuesday ramblings.

do ignore my grammar ya.. i know it sucks