A Taste of Being a Mother

Towards the end of the year, i realized that blogging has not become my daily routine. Too many things happened which tested the whole department which i might not known if I dont get married. Yeah, sometimes balancing your life with three titles; mother, wife and staff is not that easy.

Reminder: This is a very long post. Two sides of stories - happy and sad. A gentle note for myself..

Saturday 17 November 2007

As planned, we had organized Emir's first birthday party. Even though my maid has gone back to Indon for a while or to be exact, even though im not a good cook, but i insisted to cook for that day. Plus, the menu is way too easier compared the day when i cooked the mee rebus. Anyway, i had planned the menu one month before. So i dont have to crack my head thinking what to cook. It was a simple menu. Just mihun sup, nasi goreng and mee goreng. Luckily my sister volunteered to help me for the dessert, she prepared peach jelly. Amin..

And, i found out it was not that simple when you have to do everything on your own. From clean up the mess to cutting the onions, etc to cooking. And, again, luckily my siblings and hubby were there to support me. I know i was too bossy on that day. Yeah, cos i just came back from my house on Friday night, so I only have less than a day to do everything.

So there goes the day. We spent the whole night clean up the house and only started cooking at 11+pm. Kesian my siblings cos we only had our dinner at 11pm. While hubby was taking care of our son and my siblings were cutting all the ingredients, I then was busy with the cake. Yeah yeah yeah, i baked the cake myself. Everyone in the house worried that i might spoilt the cake. Hehe. Plus, that was my first experienced using the biggest cake pan. Adalah sebesar besar sikit dari tayar kereta kancil.

Of course when you make a cake, you will start with mixing the sugar and the butter. When i was in that stage, i didnt realize that my chocolate rice, cooking choc and the van houten went missing. Oh yeah, my initial plan was to do the chocolate cake layer by layer. But after searching for quite some time, the whole planned changed. Mind you that i was very sure i have bought everything earlier. So from choc cake, it was down with butter cake. Yeah, what to do :(. A bit frustrated but something needs to be done that night. So, my cake went to the oven at almost 3am and afraid that the cake will hangit, so i minimized the heat and imagine how long i had to wait. And shortly after the cake was in the oven, i was having the shock of my life cos the whole building was blackout. So, it stopped me from doing everything, but yeah i managed to wait for my cake up until 4am+. Note: Segala bahan yang hilang termasuk candles telah dijumpai pada malam selepas semuanya selesai. Di dalam bakul baju-baju. Dan ya saya tahu siapa yang mengerjakannya. Tidak lain dan tidak bukan, anakku tersayang Emir.

Since i was too tired, i woke up the next day at 8.30am. Apalagi terkejut beruk la cos the first guest will come at 11 am and not even one thing has been done. Rasa nak menangis pun ada mase tu. First thing first, the cake. Yeah, i need to decorate the cake. How? i dont know. I was too panicked too think. To make things worst, the cake tak mau keluar dari the pan. if only the cake meant for the evening tea, i will cut it into half je. But, THIS IS THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!! I put it the pan on fire but yeah it didnt help at all. Alas, after a while,ntah angin mane ntah, the cake easily came out from the pan. Lega!!

So, decorating. since i only have white chocolate, so i thought it was fine to cover only the top of the cake. But it was not enough and the cake looked very ugly. So, last minute action, i had to use the combination of sugar and butter and sorry guest, that was the reason why the cake was a bit sweet. :). and this how the cake looked like.



And yes, i spent too much on the cake and the clock showed it was already 10am and takde bende pun yang selesai. Well, well. Ainaa was busy with her jelly. Hubby and Emir out to Tesco to buy last minute things. And yes, the first guest, Encik Usamah. Sorrylaa boss not complete yet mase ko datang.

But alhmadullillah, the guests only started coming aroung 2pm when everything was done. But yeah, Emir's party pack was not done as schedule. I have designed everything but tak sempat nak print. so end up pakai party pack dekat Tesco je:p And us, haha, selekeh :p.

One year old, he dint know what the birthday party is all about. When we sing the birthday party song, Emir was cranky. Dia takut kot tengok all the attention was on him. He dint corporate much. Forgot to tell you, Emir nyorok the candle, so end up, we only sing the song.





But, right after the birthday song, Auntie Ain, Auntie Nolee and Encik Cicak sampai and YES, they bought us a Secret Recipe's cake with a candle!! Terima kasih. At least it can compensate with my cake and the candle!! So, we had another singing session and again Emir was not cooperative. But at least Emir you have to remember that you have two birthday cakes for your first birthday party.



Thank you for those who came. We appreciate your time with us. I have splendid time with my friends from primary school, secondary school, U, and working colleague and yes to mummy blogger too!! That was the first i met Rafiqa Heliza and his two heroes. It was like a small reunion. Happy to see Puan Ain yang sedang sarat itu, Ain adik aku tak habis2 puji ko lawa, i told her that is seri orang mengandung. Again, thank you. I hope it will not ends there. My house will always open to everyone. And Hana and Sharmeen had given me one good idea. Yeah, im looking forward but not in this short period ok..


Sorry erkk,sape tak de dalam gambar :p

And as you could see, Emir is excited with the prezzies. Emir cakap terima kasih auntie-auntie, Uncle-uncle.!!





Monday 19 November 2007

When i woke in the morning, as a routine, i would kiss him on his forehead. But this time, i could feel the warm from his body. I thought it was a normal fever, so i dressed up myself and went to settle things that need to be done for my business trip. Oh ya, again i was on MC for that day. But when i came back, my maid told me Emir was on high fever, so then i rushed to the nearest panel clinic. But, as expected everytime we met the GP, the answer would always be the same. Normal fever.

He was very quite. When we were in the car, he just sit still on my laps, no words, no activities.

Tuesday 20 November 2007

I was on EL. So, i am on 6 days straight out of the office. Something I didnt feel comfortable, but since Emir's fever was quite strange, so I dare not to go to the office. But still, I squeeze some time to settle things for the biz trip. That day, Emir was cranky. He had no mood at all. The maid told me he didnt eat at all since afternoon but he did took some meals early in the morning.

That night was even worst, he dint sleep the whole night. Everyone in the house was awake since Emir didnt stop crying. He refused to take everything even my breast milk. Mind you,he never rejected food before even the Hot and spicy food. And everytime he cried, he would touch his lips and from there i know something was not right.

But at last he fell asleep after struggling with the pain. Kesian sangat.. Tambah tambah it is your own son

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

I went to the office. Yes, as predicted banyak giler keje especially assignment before im off to that trip.Actually, i couldnt that concentrate as my mind was with Emir. And the top most thing was, my guts said that i shouldnt go for the biz trip. Called home and again the answer was the same. He dint eat, NOT AT ALL. Even not his milk. But still, we dint bring him to see the paed.

Thursday, 22 November 2007

I was on MC/EL. We brought him to see the paed. And this is the second day he didnt take any solid food and his milk at all. But alhamdulillah at least he wants my breast milk. Thats fine. But i know i dont have that much supplies.

As the paed, she checked everything. Explained to her from A to Z. And she showed Emir's mouth and masyaAllah, there were more than 5 spots of ulcers in his mouths. I was so scared. Doctor checked his legs and hands, Yes, it is that rashes. Confirmed he has suffered with Hand Mouth Foot Disease (HFMD). Im scared. Yes. What else can a mother says. But truly I am. So the whole family have to be quarantined for one week. The doctor gave us two options either we monitored him at home or admitted him to the hospital and we chose the first option since we have to pay our own bill.

Of cos if only I have that medical benefit, i wont think twice and i will definitely admit him to the hospital. But in my case, i know private hospital can cost a bomb so we chose to avoid that risk. I insisted hubby to admit Emir to the govt hospital but hubby was not so keen since the paed already gave the option to stay at home. Plus, the paed has treated Emir ever since Emir was born.

After we just got into the car, suddenly i felt so cold and my body was warmed. Sudah. i told hubby to stop me to the panel clinic. And, when we reached there, i was very very weak. In the hot sunlight, I felt damn cold, so i just stayed in the car under the hot sun while waiting for my number. But only for a short while. Yes, i was down with high fever that day.

Sampai je rumah, first thing, i jumped on my bed and have a short nap cos I have quite painful headache. Emir, i asked hubby and the maid to take care of him sekejap. But most of the day, i am weak, weak and weak. And alhamdulillah Emir was quite OK that day except that he cried during the night but to me it was still acceptable.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Hari ni kebah sikit la badan but i really really had a bad sore throat. Sakit gile2, im not sure whether i get it from Emir or not. Emir, yeah, he was still not eating but alhamdulillah he was still playful and cheerful boy. At least, sebagai Ibu rase lega la sikit. But for those who see Emir everyday, we noticed that Emir dah kecik sangat. Yeah, he lost 4 kg in just few days.

This is his picture yesterday



Takde pipi, tak de perut, tak de lemak. Now his weight is 10kg, his weight if i am not mistaken when he was 12 months. Even though he is cheerful, but he is quite weak. We tried to give everything that he is supposed not to get it everytime. since Emir is afraid to eat any solid food, so we bought ice cream, yogurt, vitagen, nutrigen, milo and dadih but sadly tak banyak pun die minum.

Now, hubby is worried.

On the separate note, i was headache about my biz trip. In this situation, it really hard for me to leave my son. And after few telephone conversations, alhamdullilah they accepted my decisions. But yes, the client was not so happy. i bet my boss pun tak berkenan jugak la kan sebab last minute decision. But since the doctor advised me not to go (cos im the carrier), so better dont. For me, family comes first. Not that i dont want to go, fyi i already take the yellow fever jab, but family is top most priority. So encik saffuan, kaklong baru tahu tak pi sane semalam yer.

At night, hubby keep telling me that we will admit him to the hospital soonest possible. but i pulak yang tak berape selera. First, he already started to play with his uncles and aunties even though the fact is he did not have any foods and water. Secondly, kalau masuk hospital pun paling tinggi ye laa more supervision and paling paling pun die masukkan drips. To me, as long as Emir get my breast milk, i feel there is no need to inject him here and there.

I did sms-ed my parents and immediately both mama and baba called me. Asked for their prayer if possible in front of kaabah.

Saturday, 24 November 2007

First thing in the morning. brought Emir to see the paed. I have packed his shirts, pampers, pants in case he will admit to the hospital. But my oh my, we had to wait for two hours before our number turned up. The doctor checked him thoroughly and alhamdulillah Emir tak payah masuk hospital. Doktor kate boleh monitor pada rumah je. Amin, but we still need to be quaratined.

Conclusion, i will be fully at home up until next week. And to that, i had to cancel our schedule for this week. But yeah, im going to the office tomorrow to clear my case before my boss flying off to Sudan.

And if you read this post up until this paragraph, doakan Emir cepat sembuh ok. And me, sakit tekak yang sangat sakit.

And one lesson, now i know one reason why Allah didn't allow me to get pregnant.

Ibu-ibu, ade banyak info pasal HFMD ni dekat internet. Click here for a simple summarization of HFMD.